My first published book went on Amazon for pre-sale yesterday. To be honest, I wasn’t sure this day would ever come. Don’t get me wrong-I know the story is good-but is it good enough?
Let me tell you something about writers. We know the chances of getting rich by writing is slim. We know there are people who won’t like our work. We know there will be naysayers, doubters, and people who will tell us to enjoy our “hobby”. We know writing takes time-time we could spend doing other things. We know we’ll hear a hundred stories from people who were going to write-and could-but who just don’t have the time. Because, yeah-writers have access to a magical well of time we pull from whenever we need it. I’ve yet to find that well, but I’m sure it exists based on the number of people who seem to think I’ve accessed it.
During the time I was writing this book, I threw a wedding, suffered a bout of pneumonia that landed me in the hospital for 10 days, ended a 26-year marriage, worked two jobs, dealt with an adult child in another state nearly being killed in an accident, and moved twice-to name just a few things. Each of those things came with a heavy emotional burden. None of those things gave me more time. In fact, my second move put me in a house.
I love having a house. I can’t say I love mowing, but I love the way my yard looks. And I love that I am the one who makes it look good. Same goes for shoveling, maintaining the cars, cleaning…I love that I am capable of handling all of those things PLUS a full-time job. As a woman, it’s empowering. But empowering or not, NONE of those things give me extra time.
So, let me tell you one last thing about writers. We write because we need to write like we need to breathe. Because there are stories inside of us begging to be written. We are answering our calling when we sit down and hit the keyboard or put pen to paper. We are alive, and if you are one of the few who are blessed enough to find what makes you come alive, you MAKE time.
When everyone else is heading to bed for the night, we are sitting down to write. When everyone else is sleeping in, we are up when it’s still dark so we can write. When it’s lunchtime at work, and our colleagues are chatting and eating, we’re eating and writing. Sometimes, when our friends are going out, we’re home, writing. Occasionally, popcorn is what’s for dinner-because we’re busy writing. We pour our blood, sweat, and literal tears into our work.
Then, one day, we put it out there for the world to critique. We receive rejection after rejection, until we manage to find the right publisher or agent. Then, we put this precious work, which we have poured so much into, into the hands of friends, family, and complete strangers, giving them a glimpse into our souls. Which brings me back to my original question: Is my story good enough?
For me, Killer Secrets represents sleepless nights, emotional escapes, countless hours of work, fits of nearly paralyzing self-doubt, and endless comments from doubters. I hope you like it, I really do. But if you don’t, that’s okay, too. Because for me, this book is proof: proof I can survive. Proof I can accomplish more than I ever thought possible. Proof I am an overcomer. And for me, that’s more than good enough. 😊