You sit across from it staring at it, and it stares back. Just staring. So much of your time and energy poured into this relationship. Your hand shakes slightly as you come to a terrifying decision. Breakups are never easy. There will be pain. There will be regret. But most importantly, there will be a fresh start. Trembling fingers move the mouse over the text as the black and white washes into a pale blue. Then, you do it. You really do it. You click 'delete.' Just like that, it's over. Now what?
As a writer, I've spent countless hours in front of my laptop pouring my heart and soul onto a page. Sometimes the words flood through me rather than from me, sent from some other dimension of inspired writing. Sometimes, zilch. Lots of times zilch. Recently, I began a sequel to one of my novel series while I wait on my edits from my publisher for a different book. I researched some of the historical elements, plotted (some - I'm such a pantser), and got myself organized. And I wrote. 8,000 words.
The more I worked on it, the more forced it felt. I kept telling it, "Look, you better start cooperating with me here. It's your turn to be written and you WILL be written." But, I soon realized, like with any relationship, you can't force someone to want to be with you. This manuscript didn't want to be with me. It fought me tooth and nail. The more I struggled with it, the more I realized that I didn't want to be with it either. Sure, there were things about it that I liked, but as a whole, it wasn't working for me. Kind of like the cute guy who is nice, but you have nothing in common and you spend hours in idle chit-chat between awkward silences. No fire at all. No passion. No burning desire to be together. This manuscript was that boyfriend. It was time for a break up.
Rather than a hard delete, I decided this manuscript and I were not meant to be for the long hall, but that didn't mean we couldn't be friends. I mean, there were SOME things I liked about it, after all. So, I put the whole thing, all 8,000 words, into a scrap file and started a new relationship with a blank page. It was frightening and, yet, a little titillating to start a new relationship. A rebound of sorts. And it felt amazing. Words flowed and images swirled as the new relationship took flight. Fire, passion, and a little bit of those familiar things that worked in the first attempt started coming together in a relationship that will go the distance.
If you aren't happy with the writing and are struggling to get through it, chances are your readers will, too. Sometimes you need to look that thing right in the cursor and say, "It's not me, it's you."