If you've ever had a migraine, or a toothache, or even one of those post-cold earaches, you're probably familiar with the following thought:
Oh, powers that be, I will do freaking ANYTHING to make this stop, oh please oh please oh please, just make it go away.
Some kind of pain will make you try ridiculous things. I, myself, have put a vibrating toothbrush on my forehead while under the torturous thumb of a migraine, hoping that any change in sensation would make the damn thing slightly more tolerable. I've purchased an occasional whatchamacallit to help deal with my health problems, including wrist pressure bands for nausea (they work!) and a TENS unit for muscle therapy (it doesn't really work, but it feels nice while it's on). Of course, in my case, I have bigger problems than a rare toothache. I have a sort of constant systemic failure. I can't eat or sleep properly, I'm always struggling to keep weight on, my joints are a mess, and my heart and blood pressure are wonky. I faint a lot. The rheumatologist diagnosed me with fibromyalgia, but said we can't rule out that there may something else wrong with me. Honestly, I'm pretty sure there is.
So, in the tradition of acting like a goofball to try to alleviate pain, I decided to try everything.
Once I finally got the worst of the pain under control with medication, I was able to be a bit more active, so I added yoga to my daily routine. It's not always easy. Sometimes I do black out when my blood pressure drops. But it feels good, both physically and mentally. So that helped a little.
I made a point of decreasing stress and adding more self-care. I got a massage pillow. I stopped trying to push myself to behave like an able-bodied person, since I'm obviously not. And that helped quite a bit.
But I decided to take it one step further, and try a diet I swore I would never survive. Last week, I started eating gluten-free.
For the record, I hate it.
Also, it seems to be working.
I have some pretty severely mixed feelings about this.
A doctor has told me before that I should try a gluten-free diet, because Celiac Disease was a possible cause for many of my symptoms. And I did try. I failed miserably, because back then, I was broke and busy and just didn't have the time to read every label. I know now that I didn't do a good enough job to say I conducted this experiment properly. It's not like giving up fast food. Quitting gluten in a culture that puts wheat in everything is kind of like trying to master chemistry and quit smoking at the same time; first you have to know it's there, and then you have to resist eating it.
I also have a new understanding of why people on special diets seem so consumed by them; If you're not thinking about it all the time, you lose. This weekend, I had just enough energy to go to a barbecue for a little while. I turned down so much food that I'm lucky if I didn't offend the host. And I got sick anyway, because gluten hides in everything and I failed to root out the threat before I put it in my face.
I'm going to keep trying.
But if gluten-free really turns out to be the thing I need to do to feel better, sign me up for a cyborg body as soon as one becomes available.