A Dirty Joke From the Lady Next Door

I'm gonna level with you, I have pretty minimal energy left for blog-writing right now.

So I'm going to tell you a story.

Across the hall from me lives a sweet older lady. Whenever we meet, we chat for a bit. She sprays the trash chute with Febreeze when she takes out the garbage, just to be considerate. As I've gotten to know her, I've discovered that she is one of those beautifully disdainful old people who just doesn't give a damn anymore. We were talking about the property management company, and she says they gave her apartment F because it stood for "Fuck you, old people!"

So. I'm on my way to a doctor's appointment. (Yes, I have a lot of those.) We meet in the hallway. I have my cane with me, and we talk about how hard it is to take the train when it's hard to get around on our feet. I have a lot in common with older folks, mobility-wise. I told her that people sometimes give up seats for me, but when I get stuck standing on the bus, I'm too polite to ask someone to move.

"Just go up to them and tell them you're pregnant," she says.

I look down and my scrawny body. "I'm not sure I can pull that one off, hon."

"Oh, you can," she says, "Tell 'em you're pregnant, and when they ask how long you've been pregnant, tell 'em 'About fifteen minutes, and I'm exhausted! Now move!'"

I laughed all the way to the doctor.

#dirtyjoke #awesomeoldpeople